Stop looking over the fence

“Don’t worry about how green the grass is on the other side of the fence – fertilize your own lawn.”

I’ve been saying that for years and it’s still so very true today. It can apply to almost anything. Relationships, jobs, friendships, et al. Anything you can be envious or jealous about another person having, this quote is applicable.

There is nothing wrong with seeing something someone else has and wishing it were yours. Desire can inspire us to get off our butts and work towards something we want. That is fertilizing your own lawn.

Desire, however, has its dark side. It can give us tunnel vision. We only see what the other person has, and we want it. We don’t want it bad enough to actually work for it, but blindly bad enough to TAKE it from someone else. It doesn’t matter what it is – a job, a person, a material thing, a life. All that is seen is “that person has it, they don’t deserve it, I want it, I am going to take it from them”.

The thing about taking something FROM someone is that once you have it it’s not as great as you thought it would be. That person isn’t as perfect and wonderful, that car turns out to be expensive, that life isn’t as great and fulfilling, that job sucks worse than the one you had.

By working to earn what we have, fertilize our own lawn, we have the deep satisfaction of knowing WE earned it OURSELVES. No one can take away the pride of doing it ourselves. And when we do accomplish something ourselves it doesn’t matter what the naysayers say – it is ours – even if someone tries to take that accomplishment away, they never will be able to.

So go ahead and admire that lawn on the other side of the fence. Nothing wrong with that. But don’t forget to fertilize your own lawn. You might be surprised at how often you admire your own.


About ynnarie

Lynn Salisbury grew up in the rural town of McGrath, Minnesota. After graduating from McGregor High School in the mid 1980’s, she moved to the Twin Cities. Lynn spent her 20’s and 30’s working like the average person, never imagining the calling that awaited her. But those two decades of working, learning, growing, led to the day a friend challenged Lynn to write. Lynn met that challenge and never looked back. Now she draws from her life’s experiences and creative mind to weave stories. Stories about different worlds, different lives, different perspectives. If you ask her about her life, Lynn will tell you it’s been rather simple and sometimes boring. But if you dig a little deeper you will find that it’s been a bit more exciting than that. Lynn has done everything from designing clothes ranging from prom and wedding dresses to drag queen attire and everything in-between, became a registered, ordained Pagan minister in the state of Minnesota, to creating a group, on a social media site, of fans devoted to her favorite football team that has more members than most medium sized towns. Lynn still lives in the Twin Cities area, enjoying the changing seasons, spending time with family, working, and writing. She will admit she hasn’t found her genre niche yet, and she secretly hopes she never does, leaving the possibilities wide open for any type of story that formulates in her head, mixed with a bit of muse inspiration, to spill out into the written word. She writes what she would want to read, having taken to heart a piece of advice she once heard. And she feels blessed and grateful for the chance to share her stories with the world. As the mother of three amazing, beautiful and strong daughters, Lynn knows that even when the world seems the darkest, they are her light. And she never forgets what an honor and privilege it is to be their mother. “If you haven’t had your ‘a-ha’ moment today, you haven’t been paying attention.” – Lynn Salisbury
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