“You complete me…” and other rubbish

Women everywhere fawned over those three words “You complete me.” when Tom Cruise uttered them in a movie. At that moment thousands, if not millions, started looking for, wanting desperately, pathologically stalking for the “one” that would “complete” them.

Rubbish. Vomit inducing. Crap. Co-dependent forming. Just plain ICK.

No one ever seems to want to hear that you DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO COMPLETE YOU. You are a whole being in and of YOURSELF. You do not and never will NEED anyone to complete you. EVER.

I really wish I could imprint that into the brainpan of every single human being.

In reality, you don’t NEED anyone. And shocker! No one NEEDS you. It’s wonderful and a blessing to have people around who love you and be around people you love. But need? Ego hit… no.

You might wonder where all this frustration is coming from. It has built over time due to a little thing people seem to clinging to like Jack clung to the drift at the end of Titanic. “Never let go………”. I digress. This whole whacked out concept of soul mates. Now sparkled up with fluffy bunnies and rainbows and called Twin Flames.

The concept? That before you incarnated into this physical form you were a soul. And then your soul split (somehow, not sure considering a soul is usually defined as energy and as such just IS, but again I digress) and half of your “soul” entered one body and the other half entered another and  you are on a “soul mission” as it were to find that lost part of your soul. Your “other half”. And how “amazing and fulfilling and wonderful it is to meet your twin flame! So wonderful that if you haven’t experienced it you can never know! But I found my twin flame and now I am complete (co-dependent) and can’t imagine living without this person because we BELONG together forever, and ever, and ever, and ever (said in the creepy twin [total pun] voices from the Shining).”

The desperation I see in the written word about how people NEED to find their twin flame and how much better they think their lives will be once found is saddening. Creepy, sick, and saddening. It speaks to a culture of humans that can’t survive on their own. Who feel they need another person to fill the empty spaces. It’s a therapists dream job and they won’t be going out of business any time soon.

These people also call  themselves “old souls”, like giving themselves the title means that they have some special universal “knowing” that the rest of the world does not and therefore couldn’t possibly understand. I won’t go into my belief about “old souls” here since it would be a blog in and of itself, but let’s just say I don’t believe in “old souls” either. (Hint: souls are universal energy manifested in corporal form to experience life. There is no old or young or in-between soul age. All comes from the universe and is of the same infinite age therefore one part cannot be older than the other parts since all are part of the one. Yeah, I’ll blog about that sometime soon. lol).

And, of course, it’s very easy to prop one’s self up and say “I am this or that and KNOW. Not that you could understand because it is VERY obvious you wouldn’t know what I know.” All said looking down their nose while saying it while also saying they are so enlightened and full of love…

Yeah. Okay. And yet you can’t exist without this “other half” of yourself running around somewhere that you are so DESPERATE to find to “complete” yourself.

Those in my life that I love and who love me enhance my living experience and I choose to have them in my life like they choose me every moment of every day. I am blessed to be surrounded by those who choose to stay. I am blessed by the time I have spent with those who are no longer in my current experience (for whatever reason) and I am thankful and grateful I am still here to experience this thing called life.

But I am whole, all by myself. I love myself enough to know I AM enough. I don’t need to be completed, found, joined with, or reconnected with my other half because there is no other part of me out there, other than the connection we all have to each other and in the universe (again another blog to explain more about that).

For those that feel they need the twin flame concept to make them feel complete, I recognize they are still in their spiritual infancy, needing to find something in the corporal mishmash that makes sense. I know there is a lot more growing they need to do while in a physical body to understand how ALL things are connected. I really hope some of them realize that to depend so much on that connection with another as an all encompassing NEED is more damaging to their path at this point (although I do need to concede that each person is at the point in their path they need to be [spiritual stuff can be so deep sometimes]) and they need to seek their own path, not one where someone has to be there to hold their hand.

Until they do, I will just follow my path as I know it and welcome those who cross it, regardless of their awareness. Yeah, I know, sounds kind of condescending, although truly it’s not. Just acceptance :).

Blessings, peace, love, namaste

About ynnarie

Lynn Salisbury grew up in the rural town of McGrath, Minnesota. After graduating from McGregor High School in the mid 1980’s, she moved to the Twin Cities. Lynn spent her 20’s and 30’s working like the average person, never imagining the calling that awaited her. But those two decades of working, learning, growing, led to the day a friend challenged Lynn to write. Lynn met that challenge and never looked back. Now she draws from her life’s experiences and creative mind to weave stories. Stories about different worlds, different lives, different perspectives. If you ask her about her life, Lynn will tell you it’s been rather simple and sometimes boring. But if you dig a little deeper you will find that it’s been a bit more exciting than that. Lynn has done everything from designing clothes ranging from prom and wedding dresses to drag queen attire and everything in-between, became a registered, ordained Pagan minister in the state of Minnesota, to creating a group, on a social media site, of fans devoted to her favorite football team that has more members than most medium sized towns. Lynn still lives in the Twin Cities area, enjoying the changing seasons, spending time with family, working, and writing. She will admit she hasn’t found her genre niche yet, and she secretly hopes she never does, leaving the possibilities wide open for any type of story that formulates in her head, mixed with a bit of muse inspiration, to spill out into the written word. She writes what she would want to read, having taken to heart a piece of advice she once heard. And she feels blessed and grateful for the chance to share her stories with the world. As the mother of three amazing, beautiful and strong daughters, Lynn knows that even when the world seems the darkest, they are her light. And she never forgets what an honor and privilege it is to be their mother. “If you haven’t had your ‘a-ha’ moment today, you haven’t been paying attention.” – Lynn Salisbury
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