Blessed “mom”

One of the hardest decisions I ever had to make was giving my first child up for adoption almost 24 years ago. I can honestly say I made the right decision. Would I make the same one today? I doubt it. But back then I didn’t know much about all the programs that are out there to help a young (no I was not a teenage mom, I was in my first year at college), single mom. I made my choice and it was one that took years to forgive myself for.

But I will say again, it was the right decision – for me.

I had a semi-open adoption; which is one where I get updates through the agency from the family that adopted my child. I got pictures, updates and was even allowed to send Christmas and birthday presents to her. Which made it much easier. And she also knew she was adopted.

I have had two children since that time a few decades ago but I never, for 18 years, forgot about her. Never did a day go by that I didn’t think about her, worry about her, wonder how she was doing, wonder if she ever thought about me, wonder WHAT she thought about me.

Then I was blessed to finally meet her after she turned 18. We talked a little about the decision I made and how our lives had gone since that day. Mostly we got to know each other. I knew I couldn’t be “mom”. I gave up that right literally and figuratively many years before. But I just wanted to get to know her for who she had become. Who she was now. And it was a very special blessing that she gave me that chance.

Obviously I had forgiven myself many years before I met her for giving her away. It wasn’t easy. My family didn’t understand. Even the counselor from the adoption agency told me I was being selfish. Rest assured I got over that one. There was no way I was prepared to raise a child at that time. I wanted her to have the best life possible and I recognized then that I wasn’t able to do that.

I look back on those events today because today is her birthday. She’s 24 today and has grown into a beautiful, wonderful woman who now has 3 children of her own and is married to a wonderful man. I am proud of the person she has become and blessed I can be even a small part of her life.

Decisions such as these are never easy. So many things could have happened in those 18 years. And so many things did. But the outcome was more than I ever expected.

Happy Birthday Tara. May today, and every day after, be as blessed as I feel to be the birth mother that brought you into the world.

About ynnarie

Lynn Salisbury grew up in the rural town of McGrath, Minnesota. After graduating from McGregor High School in the mid 1980’s, she moved to the Twin Cities. Lynn spent her 20’s and 30’s working like the average person, never imagining the calling that awaited her. But those two decades of working, learning, growing, led to the day a friend challenged Lynn to write. Lynn met that challenge and never looked back. Now she draws from her life’s experiences and creative mind to weave stories. Stories about different worlds, different lives, different perspectives. If you ask her about her life, Lynn will tell you it’s been rather simple and sometimes boring. But if you dig a little deeper you will find that it’s been a bit more exciting than that. Lynn has done everything from designing clothes ranging from prom and wedding dresses to drag queen attire and everything in-between, became a registered, ordained Pagan minister in the state of Minnesota, to creating a group, on a social media site, of fans devoted to her favorite football team that has more members than most medium sized towns. Lynn still lives in the Twin Cities area, enjoying the changing seasons, spending time with family, working, and writing. She will admit she hasn’t found her genre niche yet, and she secretly hopes she never does, leaving the possibilities wide open for any type of story that formulates in her head, mixed with a bit of muse inspiration, to spill out into the written word. She writes what she would want to read, having taken to heart a piece of advice she once heard. And she feels blessed and grateful for the chance to share her stories with the world. As the mother of three amazing, beautiful and strong daughters, Lynn knows that even when the world seems the darkest, they are her light. And she never forgets what an honor and privilege it is to be their mother. “If you haven’t had your ‘a-ha’ moment today, you haven’t been paying attention.” – Lynn Salisbury
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